Becoming a Teen

Granted when I did it was the dark ages (read about 7 years ago)...but I was
quite lucky although for a brief time period I didn't think so.


First I got written permission from all parents since this was considered a
sensitive issue - asked any parents to come to the meeting if they so
desired.  The scheduled meeting was a lady from the local health department
with the "film".  As the girls walked in (5th graders) they announced "Oh hi
mrs. XXX"  Seems she had just the same presentation to them at the
elementary school the day before  (my heart sank).  Luckily she had brought
a different film - What really happened though was the girls got a second
chance to ask questions..perhaps questions they didn't want to ask in the
larger group (all the 5th grade girls in the elementary school) plus they
had a chance to touch and handle the models of the ovaries etc. which they
had only been able to see from a distance at the school.  One mother asked
the discussion be changed when it became too sexual...but all in all the
girls seemed to get something from it - and were interested.


Now in later years (with a different set of girls).  I have had other
"planned" days (always having parents sign permission slips)...BUT - as they
have gotten older we have also had some pretty graphic unplanned
discussions...I had talked to an expert at our council about sensitive
issues and she felt that it was ok (and expected) that discussions with
teenagers would turn that way and unless it was a planned event not to
obsess over permission slips.

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We did the Becoming A Teen badge last year- in November- 5th grade.  We
started it in a meeting- then had a mother/daughter evening- with the school
nurse present to finish it off.  There were many embarrassed giggles- but
all in all it went well.
One of the best things we did- was to have a "burning questions" box.  The
girls could put questions in at any time- during the meeting or the
mother/daughter evening, and we answered them that night.
I was very apprehensive about doing this badge- but felt it was necessary to
get at least a base of knowledge that the girls had together as a troop- and
the moms knew what we had discussed.
I think I still have the outline for the evening with the moms- if you'd
like I can forward it to you.

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When we did this we worked it in with the Becoming a Teen Badge.  Parents
knew what we were doing and topic to be discussed so there were no problems.
We had a health profession on hand to help with questions girls had.  Some
questions we felt we should leave to parents to discuss. But for the most
parti it went well.

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We worked on Becoming A Teen in January of the year most were in 5th grade.
We had a couple of 8th and 9th grade Cadettes come in and talk to the girls
about being a teen--how they felt about being teens, boys, pimples, styles,
etc.  We also did posters on what we felt good about--things we did well,
things we liked about ourselves, things we were proud of--and shared them.
This was a real ego booster.
For the actual puberty program, we were blessed to have in DeKalb Co. GA
(Atlanta suburbs) where we then lived, the Fernbank Science Center which
did these programs. We took our troop--all but two. (Those girls had moms
who did not want their daughters to hear the program.) The moms were
invited, some came, and we all loved it!  The instructor talked about
sex--we all have it, we are born with.  You are either the male sex or the
female sex, so we already know something about it.  She talked about
changes, beginning with walking, getting out of diapers, getting taller,
starting school, and slowly built up to saying they had probably noticed
other changes--hair in funny places, breasts beginning to develop. By this
time the girls were a lot more relaxed.  She elaborated on the changes they
could expect, including menstration.  She included a history of the
sanitary napkin--the towels, the belts, the large pads, the underpants with
clips in them, up to today's with the adhesive. All the moms were trying
not to laugh as we watched this!  There was also an "invisible" pregnant
woman so you could see what a pregnant body looked like and how the baby
was positioned inside.  There was a video about reproduction, and a host of
other things.
This is the sort of program that should have a trained facilitator to lead
it.  I would not have done it myself. A  poorly done program will leave the
girls embarrassed; a well-done one will leave them much more comfortable
with the physical changes going on.  And, I am so glad we did it when we
did.  Within six months, one of the girls had started her period!


This particular badge was one of the best and most memorable (for me) ones
the troop worked on. It's been seven years and I still remember it!!

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I used to do these talks in my old council.  I have only done one recently
here in Fl.  Be open, be honest and TRY not to be nervous.  You already are
an expert in this area and you survived.  Always invite the Mothers or an
adult that the girl feels comfortable with.  Tambrands, the manufacturers of
Tampax has a kit you can request.  It includes a chart of the female (and
male) reproductive systems, the only thing is it shows only "the plumbing."
I always include the heart and the brain, as part of the reproductive system.
 It opens the door for discussion of choices and abstinence.  The address is:
Tampax Health Education
350 main St. Box 387
Somerset WI 54025-0387
(800) 728-5076
call and see if they are still offering the Girl Scout Packet.  They also
include a video called "Kids to Kids" a discussion of puberty.  It is a great
way to get started.  It will give everyone, you and the girls and Moms, a
common vocabulary.
I also do a brainstorming activity on girls' names, why each one is special
and then sexist titles...actress, authoress, chick, babe,girlie,mother, aunt
etc.
The underlying current in my spiel was always... You are special, you are
female, you are entering a very exciting period in your life and each of you
has an expert you can ask ANY question of.  That would be the person you
brought with you i.e. Mom or other adult.
Good Luck with it, if you have any other questions get back to me.
 
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We did this as a mother-daughter campout a few years ago, in a heated cabin
with real bathrooms!
Moms started off by talking about what it was like when WE were kids (esp
the bulky pads, belts, etc for our periods).  Talked about who had acne
problems, who developed early, late, etc.  Boys and the like, and parent
problems.  That seemed to make it easier for the girls to open up and talk,
and let them see that things weren't so bad now!.  We didn't bother to get
any of the kits from Kimberly-Clark or other companies--just used the
handbook as a guide.  Many of the moms talked for the first time to their
daughters about their OWN relationships with their parents.
In our troop of 8, only 3 girls had started periods, one had acne problems
already, but all were in the emotional part.  We talked a lot about that,
too.  We brought samples of all kinds of feminine products, skin care
products, deoderants, etc.  The kids got the biggest kick out of
disassembling tampons and watching them expand in water, so have plenty of
those to play with!  We also brought shaving gel and razors and
blades--showed how to use them, change blades safely, etc.
The big hit of the weekend was to make a huge poster (we used a roll of
finger paint paper from the toy shop).  First, the moms painted on it--each
had a section, and painted/drew things that represented their lives as
teenagers.  We had symbols for our schools, pictures of our best friends and
favorite activities, pictures of what was important to us and what our
hobbies were.  Then our daughters rolled out more of the paper, and did the
same thing.  We had lots of fun discussing that!  Saw how what was important
to the moms when they were teens hasn't changed much from what the daughters
felt was important to them.  Talked about what is harder today (pressure for
sex, possible exposure to violence at school), what was harder then (war,
women's roles changing), and what is the same (pressure for drugs and
alchohol).  Surprised many of the kids that drugs were around "way back
then"!!
Hope that gives you some ideas.
 
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I went to two different groups to find out what they presented. Planned
Parenthood was great, but a little detailed for my younger juniors. I
went with a local group that was willing to tone it down a little. Both
groups use a nurse, so they have instant crdeibility with the girls. The
parents had lots of concerns about what would be said.


For the most part the girls had already seen the "film" at school so
thought that they knew it all, but it did provide them a great
opportunity to talk with someone that wasn't a parent and wasn't a
teacher that they would see all the time.


It went well, at the time there was a contemporary issue called growing
up female that I gave the presenter to look at several weeks ahead of
time. Other than that the girls did alot of "yuking" and "gross"ing.
 
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    I had a great time as the visiting expert (RN) for another troop.  Just
wish my troop wanted to do this!  Anyway, this troop had contacted the
Johnson & Johnson Company.  They sent a free video, samples enough for the
troop and activities.
    The troop had a pizza party and then watched the video.  The
"activities" included pre-printed questions, and pens & paper for the girls
to write down more questions. All of these were folded & mixed into a
bucket.  With the girls seated on the floor around me, and the moms sitting
in chair around the room, I pulled questions out of the bucket and answered
each one.
    At the first laughter, I talked about that being normal, with any new
thing, especially a topic so personal.  Then I reminded the group that the
purpose of this meeting was to welcome them to the wonderful world of being
a woman.  (Boy, did that work!)  We answered every question, including ones
that came verbally from the girls.
    At the end, I again welcomed the scouts to the wonderful world of being
a woman.  I then told them that their best resource for future information
was their mother.  After all, she wouldn't be here tonight if she didn't
care.
    The only problem:  The troop leaders had surveyed the moms prior to the
meeting about Sensitive Issues; i.e., premarital sex and pregnancy.  The
consensus was to tell the scouts to ask their moms about those issues.
YUCK!  Especially when, during the meeting, these issues did not come up
from the girls, but repeatedly from one of the moms!
    The funny part:  The moms sitting in the chairs behind the girls blushed
during most of the Q & A period!  Too Cute!  (The again, rather sad.)
    Have fun with this!  I just wish I could get my scouts to choose to do
this badge work.  Maybe they can tell I am chomping at the bit to do it!
Too bad.
Happy Scouting!
 
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We discussed puberty with my 4th and 5th grade troop last year.  What worked
was getting a local female doctor to talk to them.  Getting samples from
Kotex.  What didn't work was having the discussion with a troop of 6th & 7th
graders included.  There was a big gap in what the different ages knew.  The
older girls had already started their periods and were real embarrassed as
opposed to my troop of girls who simply changed the subject when they were
nervous.

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Hi!  I posted to the list but had another thought as I was closing out - I
think the big thing is to let it happen naturally.  and then to be
comfortable talking about it.  We never had discussions at the Junior level,
just never came up.  As our girls are now C/S we've discussed alot of things
& have made a point to do have speakers from our Women's shelter talk about
date rape, and police about personal safety.  The last one we made a
mother/daughter event & we couldn't believe - we had every mom there!!  This
year we have finally located someone who will do a self defense class for us
& will incorporate it into the program.         Best of Luck   

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Have not read the rest of the posts, but I thought I would send you a quick 
response to your question.  When the girls were in 5th grade or so we asked 
Planned Parenthood what ways they could present this topic.  They gave us a 
list of subtopics, which we made into a check list for the parents.  The 
parents checked the areas they were comfortable with and we had a mother 
daughter event with only the topics that all agreed upon.  Parents were there
so they could always leave.  They we had snack and drinks while the girls 
chewed off the presenters ear.  They really opened up when they thought the 
parents were not listening.  They had lots of questions that they needed 
answered and all in all I felt it was a very productive night.  Now I have 
4th -5th graders again and I am thinking about doing it the same way.
Hope this helps.  Curious of what others had to say.


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It's been several years since I did this with my girls.  They were in 5th
grade and now they're college freshmen!  but it was probably one of the best
things we did.


Of course, I first met with the parents and got their permission and buy-in.
I was fortunate to have a wonderful mom who was a nurse. she spearheaded the
whole thing and was wonderful.  She has a great relationship with her
daughter so that seemed to have worked ok.


One of the first things we did was pledge that nothing that anyone said
would be discussed with anyone outside of the troop except with the girl's
parents.  We didn't want any questions being repeated at school and
embarrassing anyone else.


The other thing that seem to have worked well was our question box. We used
a tampon box.  (It was emptied when the girls experimented putting tampons
in water.  They had fun doing that, too!) Anyway, any question they had that
was too embarrassing for them to ask outloud they could write down and put
in the box.  There were some strange questions!  Pointed out how important
this whole discussion was.


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Mom and Daughter event - permission slips ahead of time spelling out
exactly what will be covered.  Invite a nurse or a female OBGYN to lead
the discussion (that way you can "enjoy" the evening with your daughter
as well and any biases that you may have will not be inadvertantly passed
on to the girls - plus you can assure the parents that you are giving
their daughters medically sound information).  "Celebration" at the end
with cake, punch, and a carnation for each mom to give to her daughter
(so that the girls don't look on this as a "bad" thing, but rather a
natural part of life that we all experience).


I have done this with the becoming a teen badge in the Jr handbook. I had
parents sign a permission slip before the girls could attend. If someone
forgot their slip I would not let the girl attend. This protected me if a
parent became upset about the topic covered.
I found that 5th graders were free with questions and 6th graders were
disgusted if someone had the courage to ask a question.
It was suggested to me that I have a bucket and small slips of paper to give
each girl as she entered the room. The girl was free to write down ANY
question.  At the end of our discussion, we would open the questions and I
would read the question out loud- then if we had already discussed the
question, the girls would tell me the answer. This made the embarrassment
level -zero, because nobody knew who asked the question. It is very helpful
to have someone with a medical background and even better a maternity nurse.
I handled the questions from a very medical way, naming body parts, etc. Be
prepared, they will ask very graphic questions. I reminded my girls that I
would answer ALL questions, but I might need a few seconds to think of the
way I wanted to answer.
I drew pictures for them, a senior scout to this day, tells me I'm a
terrible artist!