Songs for Scouts to Sing

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Dunderbeck

There was a strange old butcher. His name was Dunderbeck.
He was very fond of sausage-meat, and sauerkraut and speck.
He had the finest butcher shop, the finest ever seen,
Until one day he invented his wonderful sausage machine.

Chorus

On Mr. Dunderbeck! How could you be so mean?
I told you you'd be sorry for inventing that machine,
For all the neighbor's dogs and cats will never more be seen,
They'll all be ground to sausage meat in Dunderbeck's machine.

One day a very little girl came walking in the store.
She ordered up some sausage meat and eggs, a half a score.
And while she stood a-waiting she whistled up a tune,
And the sausage meat it started up and danced around the room.

Once day when he was working the machine it would not go.
So Dunderbeck, he climbed inside to see what made it so.
His wife she had a night-mare and came walking in her sleep.
She gave the crank a heck of a yank, and Dunderbeck was meat!

Eats Song

[Tune: "Hail, Hail, the Gang's All Here"]

Soup, soup, we all want soup,
Tip your bowl and drain it, let your front teeth strain it.
Hark, hark, that funny sound, listen that slurping round.

Meat, meat, bring on the meat,
Fresh and juicy cow meat, ham and picked pig feet,
Lamp chops and pork chops too, any kind of meat will do.

Fish, fish, we must have fish,
We don't want it bony, nor a little phony.
Fresh, fresh, we won't eat stale, any kind of fish but whale.

[Another] Frog Song

[Tune: Brownie Smile Song]

I have something in my pocket that I found behind a log,
My leader said to put it back, it's a great big slippery frog!
It's squishy and it's slimy and it wiggles in my hand.
I also have a wooly worm and a pocket full of sand.

Found a Peanut

[Tune: Clementine]

Found a peanut, found a peanut, found a peanut just now.
Just now I found a peanut, found a peanut just now.

Continue in the same manner with:

It was rotten,...
Ate it anyway,...
Got sick,...
Called the doctor,...
Had surgery,...
Died anyway,...
Went to heaven,...
Kicked an angel,...
Went the other way,...
Found a peanut,...
Threw it away,...

Fried Ham

Fried ham, fried ham, cheese and baloney;
After the macaroni, we'll have onions, and pickles, and olives, and pretzels;
Then we'll have some more fried ham, fried ham.

Next verse, same as the first, ... style:

Some suggested styles: OPERA, ORIENTAL, ... SCOUT, SOUTHERN DRAWL

Glory, Glory, How Peculiar

[Tune: Battle Hymn of the Republic]

As one woodpecker pecked up the peg, the other woodpecker pecked down. [Repeat three times.]

Chorus

Glory, glory, how peculiar. [Repeat two times.]
[Repeat stanza.]

As one sly snake slipped up the slide, other sly snake slipped down.
As one blue bat blew in the bowl, other blue bat blew out.
As one black bug bled blue black blood, the other black bug bled blue.
As one drunk duck dove into the ditch, the other drunk duck dropped dead.
As one flea fly flew up the flue, the other flea fly flew down.
As one pink porpoise popped into the pool, other pink porpoise popped out.
As one brown bear backed up the bank, other brown bear backed down.
As one white whale whipped over the waves, other white whale whipped under.

God Bless My Underwear

[Tune: God Bless America]

God bless my underwear, my only pair.
Stand beside them, and guide them,
Through the rips, through the holes, through the tears.
From the washer, to the dryer, to the clothesline in the air.
God bless my underwear, my only pair.

Gopher Guts

[Tune: The Old Gray Mare]

Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts, mutilated monkey meat, dirty little pigeon's feet.
All mixed up with a pile of poison possum pus, and me without my spoon.
And me without my spoon; and me without spoon.
Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts, and me without my spoon. [We'll use a straw!]

Gory, Gory

[Tune: Battle Hymn of the Republic]

He jumped out of the aeroplane without a parachute. [Repeat twice more.]
But he ain't going to jump no more.

Chorus

Gory, gory, what a heck of a way to die. [Repeat twice more.]
Well, he ain't going to jump no more.

He landed on the tarmac like a dab of strawberry jam. [Repeat twice more.]
And he ain't going to jump no more.

We scraped him up and mailed him back inside an envelope. [Repeat twice more.]
And he ain't going to jump no more.

Ham and Eggs

Ham and eggs, ham and eggs,
I like mine fried nice and brown,
I like mine fried up and down.
Ham and eggs, ham and eggs,
Flip 'em, flop 'em, flop 'em, flip 'em; ham and eggs!

Variation: Divide group in two and alternatively sing phases between the punctuation. All sing the last "ham and eggs."

Horse Fly

[Tune: The More We Get Together.]

Did you ever see a horse fly, a horse fly, a horse fly?
Did you ever see a horse fly, a horse fly, fly, fly?

Did you ever see a board walk, a board walk, a board walk?
Did you ever see a board walk, a board walk, walk, walk?

Additional verses: Shoe lace, hair pin, tooth pick, eye drop, neck tie, moth bawl, eye lash, yard stick, ear drum, clam bake.

I Met a Bear

[Tune: Sipping Cider Through a Straw]

The other day, I met a bear,
Out in the woods, away out there. [Point.]

He looked at me, I looked at him,
He sized up me, I sized up him.

He says to me, "Why don't you run?"
"'Cause I can see, you have no gun."

I says to him, "That's a good idea."
"Now legs get going, get me out of here!"

I began to run, away from there,
But right behind me was that bear.

And on the path ahead of me,
I saw a tree, Oh glory be.

The lowest branch was ten feet up,
I'd have to jump and trust to luck.

And so I jumped into the air,
But I missed that branch away up there.

Now don't you fret, and don't you frown,
I caught that branch on the way back down.

That's all there is, there ain't no more,
Unless I met that bear once more.

I Wish I Was

[Tune: If You're Happy]

Oh, I wish I was a little stripe-ed skunk.
Oh, I wish I was a little stripe-ed skunk.
I would sit up in the tree-sies, and perfume all the breezies.
Oh, I wish I was a little stripe-ed skunk.
1. Mosquito---Oh, I'd itchy and I'd bitey, under everybody's nighty.
2. Cake of Soap---Oh, I'd slippy and I'd slidey over everybody's hidey.
3. Fishy in the Sea---Oh, wouldn't I look cute, without my bathing suit.
4. English Sparrow---Oh, I'd sit up in the steeple, and spit on all the people.
5. Bog o' Mud---Oh, I'd oozy and I'd goozy into everybody's shoesie.
6. Slippery Root---Oh, I'd stick up in the trail, and I'd flop you on you tail.
7. Candle Flame---Oh, I'd be so very bright, and go out every night.
8. Safety Pin---And everything that's busted, I would hold until I rusted.
9. Can of Soda---I'd go down with a slurp, and come up with a burp.
10. Kangaroo---Oh, I'd hippy and I'd hoppy inside my mommy's pockie.
11. Spoon of Castor Oil---Oh, I'd lubricate the chassies of all the lads and lassies.
12. Sugar Bun---Oh, I'd slippy and I'd slidey into everyone's insides.
13. Juicy little orange--When you squeeze me, I would squirty onto everybody's shirty.
14. Foreign car--I would run and I'd speedy over slow pedestrians' feety.
15. Water Bed---Oh, I'd wobble and I'd wiggle and make the sleepers giggle.

Ilky Moor

Where hast tha' been since I saw thee, I saw thee? On Ilky moor baht hat. Where hast tha' been since I saw...Where hast tha' been since I saw...Where hast tha' been since I saw thee, since I saw thee? On Ilky moor baht hat. On Ilky moor baht hat. On Ilky moor baht hat.
Tha's been a-courting Mary Jane.
Tha'll go and catch thy death of cold.
Then we shall have to bury thee.
Then worms will come and eat thee up.
Then ducks will come and eat up worms.
Then we shall go and eat up ducks.
Then we shall all have eaten thee.
That's where we get our Johnny back.

I'm Being Swallowed By A Boa Constrictor

I'm being swallowed by a boa constrictor, [Repeat twice]
And I don't like it one little bit!
Oh no! He swallowed my toe.
Oh gee! He's up to my knee.
Oh my! He's up to my thigh.
Oh fiddle! He's up to my middle.
Oh heck! He's up to my neck.
Oh dread! He's up to my...
[Make sound of victim being swallowed up.]

It Ain't Gonna Rain No More

Oh! the night was dark and dreary,
The air was full of sleet,
The old man stood out in the storm,
His shoes were full of feet.

Chorus

Oh, it ain't gonna rain no more, no more,
It ain't gonna rain no more,
How in the heck can I wash my neck,
If it ain't gonna rain no more.

I woke up Sunday morning and looked up on the wall,
The fleas and bedbugs were playing a game of ball.
The score was 3 to nothing, the bedbugs were ahead,
The fleas hit a homerun and knock me out of bed.

Oh! Mosquito he fly high,
Mosquito he fly low,
If old man 'Skeeta light on me,
He ain't gonna fly no more.

Oh the butterfly flits on wings of gold,
The June-Bug wings of flame,
The Bed-Bug has no wings at all,
But he gets there just the same.

Here's to the chigger who's not any bigger,
That the head of a very small pin.
But the lump that it raises itches like the blazes,
And that's where the rub comes in.

Saw a black-and-white animal in the woods,
Say ain't that little cat pretty,
Went right over to pick it up,
But it wasn't that kind of kitty.

When Mr. Noah built the Ark,
He said it was his duty,
He saved the birds and beasts and bugs,
But why did he save the cootie?

Oh, of all the fishes in the sea,
My favorite is the bass,
He climbs up in the seaweed trees,
And slides down on his hands and knees.

A peanut sat on a railroad track,
Its heart was all a-flutter,
Along came a choo-choo train,
Toot, Toot! Peanut butter!

Oh a man lay down by a sewer
And by a sewer he died.
Now, at the coroner's request,
They called it sewer-side.

A golf ball sailin' thru the air,
Whizzed by a man a hummin'
He heard a caddy holler, "Fore!"
An' he thought three more were comin'.

"The way to tell the twins apart,"
The proud father said,
"I put my finger in Willie's mouth,
If he bites it, then it's Ned."

When boating, never quarrel,
For you'll find, without a doubt,
A boat is not the proper place
To have a falling out.

"The coffee is exhausted, Sir."
The diner was advised.
Says he, "It's been so weak of late,
I'm really not surprised."

There's a gal up in the hills,
She's awfully shy and meek,
She undresses in the dark
Because the mountains peak.

The rich man drives a Cadillac,
The poor man drives a Ford.
But my old man drives down the road,
Between four wheels and a board.

Mary had a little lamb,
She fed it castor oil.
And everywhere that little lamb went,
It fertilized the soil.

Mary had a steamboat;
The steamboat had a bell.
Mary went to heaven,
The steamboat went "Toot, toot."

Mary had a little lamb,
But now that lamb is dead.
So now she takes the lamb to school,
Between two slabs of bread.

When Mary had a little lamb,
The doctor almost cried.
But when Ol' MacDonald had a farm,
The doctor almost died.

Said baby tern to mother tern,
"Can I have a brother."
"Yes" said mom to baby tern,
"One good tern deserves another."

Mary is a proper girl,
She goes to church on Sundays.
She prays to the Lord to give her strength,
To chase the boys on Mondays.

Oh for a home where the buffalo roam,
Where the deer and the antelope play.
Where seldon is heard a discouraging word,
For what can an antelope say?

It's An Insect World

It's a world of centipedes, a world of moths,
It's a world of katydids, a world of wasps
There's so much that we share that it's time we're aware,
It's an insect world.

Chorus

It's an insect covered world, [repeat twice].
It's an insect world.

It's a world of beetles, a world of fleas,
It's a world of caterpillars, a world of bees,
In this world that we know there is so much to show,
It's an insect world.

Just a Boy and a Girl

Just a boy and a girl in a little canoe with the moon shining all around.
And he paddled and he paddled so slow and easy that you couldn't even hear a sound.
And they talked and they talked 'til the moon grew dim,
He said, "You better kiss me or get out and swim."
So, what ya gonna do in a little canoe,
With the moon shining all a..., boats floating all a..., GIRL swimming all around.

K-K-Katy --- silly verses

[Tune: K-K-Katy]

C-c-c-chigger, horrible chigger,
You're the only b-b-b-bug that I abhor.
When the m-m-moon shines over the campsite,
I will scratch my b-b-b-bites until they're sore.

C-c-c-chicken, a la-la king-en,
You're so g-g-g-good I want some more.
When b-banquet is all over,
I'll be waiting at the b-b-b-bathroom door.

G-g-g-grapefruit, belligerent grapefruit,
You're the only f-f-f-fruit that I detest.
When I sp-spoon you from the rind,
All the j-j-j-juice squirts right out on my vest.

I-i-i-ice cream, c-c-c-cake-um,
You're the very f-f-f-food that I adore.
When I've f-finished with my salad,
Please come through the k-k-k-kitchen door.

Lions and Tigers and Bears

[Tune: When Johnny Comes Marching Home]

When lions are roaming on the plain, hurrah, hurrah. [Repeat.]
When lions are roaming on the plain, we fall on our knees and pray for rain.

Chorus

And we all go running up to the hills to get out of their way,
Hey, hey, hey.

When tigers go stalking in the wood, ...
All creatures do what they know they should.

When bears are growling loud and long, ...
Everyone flees but the young and the strong.

When rhinos go marching to the lake, ...
Trees do bend and the ground does shake.

Little Skunk Song

Oh I stuck my head in a little skunk hole,
And the little skunk said, "Well bless my soul."
"Take it out, take it out, take it out, REmove it!"

Well, I didn't take it out, so the little skunk said,
"If you don't take it out, you'll wish you did!"
"Take it out, take it out, take it out!"
PEE-U-O-O!! I REMOVED IT!

Lydia Pinkham

Chorus

So Let us drink-a, drink-a, drink,
To Lydia Pinkham, Pinkham, Pink.
The savior of the human race.
She invented a vegetable compound
Twas efficacious in every case.

Here's a story, a little bit gory,
A little bit happy, a little bit sad.
Of Lydia Pinkham and her vegetable compound,
And how it drove her to the bad.

My brother Bob, he was quite a slob,
He used to drool all over town.
'Til they gave him vegetable compound,
And in a week he almost drowned.

Johnny Hammer, had a terrible stammer.
He could barely say a word.
So they gave him vegetable compound,
Now he's seen but never heard.

Oh, Uncle Paul, he was so small.
He was the shortest man in town.
'Til they rubbed him with vegetable compound,
Now he weighs but half a pound.

A lady named Gwen had no children.
She was barren we did fear.
'Til they gave her vegetable compound,
Now she delivers twice a year.

Ebenezer thought he was Julius Caesar,
So they put him in a home.
There they gave him vegetable compound,
Now he's emperor of Rome.

Poor Lydia died and went to heaven.
All the church bells they did ring.
But she took along her vegetable compound,
Hark, how the Herald Angels sing!

Lydia Pinkham (1819-1883) was an American proprietor who claimed that her Vegetable Compound, a blend of herbs and 18% alcohol, could cure any "female complaint" from nervous prostration to a prolapsed uterus. Although its therapeutic effects were never substantiated by medical proof, her product gained popularity among women, many of whom hesitated to consult male physicians about "female problems." In the 1920s, federal requlations caused both the product's claims and its alcohol content to be reduced.

Magdalena Tagalena

Chorus

Oh, Magdalena tagalena, wocha-tocha, wocha-tocha,
Wocha-tocha-mocha was her name.

She had two hairs on the top of her head,
One was alive and the other one was dead.

She had two eyes in the middle of her head,
One was green and the other one was red.

She had a nose as long as a hose,
It curled at the end and was red like a rose.

She had two teeth in the middle of her mouth,
One pointed north and the other pointed south.

She had two feet as flat a mat,
No one knew how she got around like that.

One day a ten-ton truck ran over poor Magdalena,
And the poor guy had to get a new machina.

Mules

[Tune: Auld Lang Syne]

On mules we find two legs behind, and two we find before;
We stand behind before we find, what the two behind be for.
When we're behind the two behind, we find what these be for;
So stand before the two behind, and behind the two before.

My Bonnie---silly verses

My Bonnie's complexion was makeup, her face, it was beauteous to see;
Until she got caught in a rainstorm, Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me.

My Bonnie leaned over the gas tank, the height of its contents to see;
I lighted a match to assist her, Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me.

My Bonnie has tuberculosis, my Bonnie has only one lung,
My Bonnie can cough up raw oysters, and roll them around on her tongue.

My mother's an apple pie maker, my father he fiddles for tin,
My sister scrubs floors for a living, Oh boy, how the money rolls in.
Rolls in, rolls in, Oh boy, how the money rolls in, rolls in, etc.

Last night as I lay on my pillow, last night as I lay on my bed,
I stuck my feet out the window, next morning my neighbors were dead.
Bring back, bring back, Oh, bring my neighbors to me, to me, etc.

My body has calamine lotion, my body's as sore as can be,
The flowers I picked for my Granny, turned out to be poison ivy!
Don't touch, don't touch; you'll get a rash from ivy, ivy,
It'll itch bad, itch bad---and it looks worse than acne!

My Stomach Has Had It

[Tune: My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean]

My breakfast lies over the ocean,
My dinner lies over the sea,
My stomach is in a commotion,
Don't mention my supper to me.

Chorus

Bring back, bring back, Oh bring
Back my bucket to me, to me...

I really felt rotten this morning,
They tell me I really looked pale,
My stomach gave adequate warning,
To lean far out over the rail.

The sound of a stomach in motion,
A murmuring noise inside me,
I looked down and there on the water,
Was breakfast and dinner and tea.

National Embalming School

[Tune: (mostly) O, Tannenbaum]

We live for you, we die for you, National Embalming School.
We do our best to give you rest, National Embalming School.
And when you die, we'll dig a hole, and bury you so deep and cold.
We live for you, we die for you, National Embalming School.

Post mortem, post mortem, post mortem, autopsy we must have. [Repeat]
Cut! Slash! Gash! Bleed! We must know the reason.
Glory how the body stinks! It must be out of season.

We live for you, we die for you, National Embalming School.

On Top of Spaghetti

[Tune: On Top of Old Smokey]

On top of Spaghetti,
All covered with cheese,
I lost my poor meatball
When somebody sneezed.

It rolled off the table,
And onto the floor,
And then my poor meatball
Rolled out of the door.

It rolled down the garden,
And under a bush,
And then my poor meatball
Was nothing but mush!

The mush was as tasty,
As tasty could be,
And then the next summer,
It grew into a tree.

The tree was all covered,
All covered with moss,
And on it grew meatballs,
All covered with sauce.

So if you have spaghetti,
All covered with cheese,
Hold onto your meatball,
'Cause someone might sneeze.

One Fish Ball

A man was walking up and down,
To find a place where he could dine in town;
A man was walking up and down,
To find a place where he could dine.

He found himself a fancy place,
And entered in with simple grace. [Repeat.]

He took his purse his pocket hence,
But all he found was fifteen cents.

He scanned the menu through and through,
To see what fifteen cents would do.

The only thing 'twould to at all,
Was buy just one fish ball.

He call the waiter down the hall,
And softly whispered, "One fish ball."

The waiter bellowed down the hall,
"This gentlemen here wants one fish ball!"

The guests, they turned both one and all
To see who'd ordered one fish ball.

The shaken man grew ill at ease,
But softly whispered, "Bread, sir, please.

The waiter bellowed down the hall,
"You get no bread with one fish ball!"

The wretched man then went outside,
A-looking for a place to hide.

There is a moral to this all:
Don't ask for bread with one fish ball.

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